2012 saw more archers as action heroes than fat people at Hometown Buffet on half-price Wednesday. And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what crawled up the spectral bum of the zeitgeist to prompt this. Especially considering most of the archer characters, like Hawkeye and Green Arrow, have been around for decades.

Anyway, instead of wasting time trying to puzzle out the human race’s collective idiosyncrasies, I’d rather capitalize on them. If people have an underlying action fetish for outdated weapons technology, then boy do I have a super hero for them:

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I don’t get why people think New Yorkers are rude; over the last few days I’ve found the exact opposite to be true, and there’s a damn good reason for it. A rock that sits in a river long enough won’t have very many sharp edges. Or less poetically: when you have this many people crammed onto a relatively small island, individuals who are rude won’t remain un-stabbed for very long.

People here hold doors for strangers, smile and nod, and say “excuse me” when pushing through a crowd standing shoulder-to-shoulder in an over-packed restaurant on a Saturday night.

There’s a difference between rudeness, and having well-drawn lines, beyond which, courtesy turns into open contempt. I imagine this subtle difference is lost on a lot of those who either haven’t spent a lot of time around people from this part of the country, or just don’t possess the force of character needed to draw those lines for themselves.

Because people can’t be trusted to run their own lives and make the best decisions for society we need a Government, which is made up of people. Anyone else see the flaw in this logic, or does being elected somehow make you a better person?

I’m just curious because either this is an argument in favor of being ruled by an aristocracy, or I should seek public office as a means of self-improvement.

Heinlein said:  ”The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.”

Count me among the latter, because I still think Human Beings are inherently good. Am I wrong, or just not cynical enough?

Today’s Nealogisms are pulled straight from the headlines.

Musliminated

The state of having been killed by Muslims for some perceived offense against their religion.

Christianstigated

A situation caused by a Christian to deliberately enrage Muslims.

Note that the image used above, according to the latest sources, is of a Libyan bystander trying to remove Christopher Steven’s body from the scene of the attack and take it to a hospital. It is currently being circulated disingenuously with the implication that his body was ‘dragged through the streets’ in order to further inflame the incident. Also note, people are fucking stupid.

In the age of Social Media

At the last stoplight on the way home from work today I noticed a pair of geese waddling across the grass of a freeway on-ramp, looking back and forth at each other as the human race zipped by in cars and trucks and running shoes.

“You know Bill”, I imagined the one on the right saying, “we used to be motherfucking dinosaurs”.

“Dinosaurs“.

So in anticipation of GRRM dying of a baconator and fan bj-induced heart attack in a closet at a con after party, I’ve written the ending for ASOIAF:

Arya abandons the Faceless Men after her training is complete and goes rogue, searching for Sansa. Upon finding her, Arya is disgusted to discover that Sansa is legitimately in love with Littlefinger and supporting his ultimate plan of Read the rest of this entry »