Aug 24

I have no idea when this blog became a dumpster of cryptic, random thoughts and vague bullshit, but for the handful of people who read this (for some unfathomable reason), I feel I should apologize. The crap I’ve written over the past few months has been just that: crap. 

I don’t think that this kind of grammatical bukkake would be appreciated by anyone. And even if I’m being selfish and posting for my own benefit, it’s still an exercise in self-indulgent masturbation.

I can do better, and if I’m not going to, then I frankly shouldn’t bother doing at all.

Aug 21



“Life is pain, highness” 

-The Dread Pirate Roberts

Everyone is the star of their own movie. That’s as it should be, because as far as anyone knows, you only get one go at life. The thing that I have a problem with, is when people pretend previous pages in their screenplay read differently, now that they’re further into it. 

I understand why this happens; if people could literally go back and re-read their own scripts, scene for scene, word for word, a lot of folks would cut their own movies short. Hell, it’s bad enough to accurately remember awkward moments without cringing; subjecting yourself to an accurate version of truly painful ones might as well be considered a form of violence.

So to cope, people re-write their narrative as they go along. That’s fine when they’re the only character that’s affected by the revisions. When there’s a whole cast though, making retroactive changes to key scenes and then playing out the rest of the script, is a great way to ensure your story becomes a one-man show.

Aug 11


So it seems Bukowski didn’t actually say that. Still, it’s a powerful sentiment. Here’s the full quote, by… whoever:

“Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.”

The point remains though; the things we love own us. That’s the trade-off in loving anything or anyone.

Jul 9

After buying a mandolin on six cups of coffee and a whim this past weekend, I rediscovered this song, which was a huge hit in my youth that I’d completely forgotten about. It’s the kind of song that pretty much everyone can relate to, especially once you realize it has absolutely nothing to do with religion, except the kind that centers around another person, to the exclusion of sense and reason.

Or more accurately, it’s about losing your values and ideals by obsessing about another person. I kind of wish I’d paid enough attention to figure that out as a kid, because I was an embarrassingly hopeless romantic. It would have saved teenage me a ton of heartache and drama.

But in hindsight, taking an ass-kicking, literal or emotional, is sometimes the best learning method.


Jul 6

Driving through NYC, I caught myself absently thinking “huh, there sure are a lot of NPCs here”.

That’s right, folks: put me behind the wheel and my subconscious apparently thinks I’m the only Player Character in a driving simulator. 

Jun 21

Apparently it’s illegal to camp on Walden Pond. I don’t have the words. 

May 11

It’s not the first time this has happened, but it’s definitely the most ironic. A few years ago, in a fit of frustration at stupid crap being posted on Facebook, I created the following image, from clip art I found on Google images:

if you need the threat of eternal torture in order to be a good person, you're not a good person

Today, I find the thing popping up in my news feed, with 30k shares including the one that brought it to my attention, off a Facebook page about paganism. The image quality was so degraded that they apparently didn’t notice the fake URL at the bottom, which reads:

“Seriously Dude This Isnt The Bronze Age We Have Science And Computers And”

So much irony I wouldn’t be surprised if I got a nosebleed.


Sep 12


You know, if the President just came right out and said “yeah, that stuff about chemical weapons and humanitarian aid was all BS; we’re interested in deposing Assad in order to ensure Russia doesn’t have a monopoly on oil sales to Europe”, I’m pretty sure the American people wouldn’t be as quick to roll their eyes at this whole ‪#‎Syria‬ thing.

But given the last 10 years, I don’t think anyone’s buying the narrative that America is a real-life Justice League, and with more and more people turning to the Internet instead of traditional outlets for their information, treating the public like a bunch of kids sitting around a TV on Saturday morning isn’t going to be an option much longer.

The Internet has made it much harder to wag the dog, but that apparently doesn’t stop the ass-end from trying. (Conversely, any wonder why Internet freedom is under attack from all directions right now?)

Originally posted on Facebook here

Jul 21

…part American Pit Bull Terrier, part Prehistoric Alligator from the Cretaceous period.


Here she is, trying to eat my foam roller:


and a Chinese vase…


and a wrought-iron end table…


(All of these pictures were taken within the space a few minutes…)

I wanted to name her “Lady Planetwrecker, Princess of Destruction”, but my wife explicitly stated “none of that nerdy crap”, so she named her “Honey”.

When I mentioned my naming choice on Bullshido, this was posted:


All hail Lady Planetwrecker, and look for her upcoming biography, “Fuck Your Sneakers – My First Few Weeks in the Fletcher Household”.


Jun 25


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