Mar 17

A: “Hey, what’s going on?”
B: “Not much; it’s Monday”
A: “Great.”

Is it just me, or does everyone else have a mental pull-down menu of responses for nonversations like this?

I just realize I need to refresh this list a bit. People at my job are probably just as tired of my quasi-sincere “..it’s Monday” or “…it’s Friday” shtick as I am of uttering it.

As a society, and people who work in a busy corporate environment especially, we should simply adopt a “Nod and Grunt” policy which should save about 180 seconds out of every day. It’d be much more efficient to nod and/or grunt at someone to acknowledge their presence than to mumble inane crap.

read more

Mar 11

Boredom and the desert make for great pranks.

We were at NTC (The U.S. Army National Training Center out in the California desert) doing the tear-down of equipment and stuff to ship back to our unit so we could get the hell out of there. As an E-4 due to be promoted in the next few months to Sergeant, I got stuck running this detail.

For those of you who’ve never had one, the MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) we were stuck subsisting on, came with a nifty little chemical “heater” in the hopes that adding heat to the main entres would help offset the fact that most of them tasted like mashed feet.

read more

Mar 10
Mar 3

guillotine choke slam