Aug 28

I had a short conversation with an Internet friend today, that stirred the coals of a sort of existesntialist burnout I’ve been feeling for a while now. She’s someone I only really know by her occasional posts on various threads, including mine, but whose opinions I’ve always found insightful.

I had made some off-the-cuff post expressing my frustration with the state of our culture, referencing Huxley, and lamenting the fact that unlike his Brave New World, in ours, people willingly dumb themselves down. Honestly it was unoriginal, pretentious crap. But at the time I wrote it I was being assaulted by vapid bullshit from a 24-hour news station, and making that post had fewer consequences than ripping the TV off the wall and smashing it. read more

Aug 24

I have no idea when this blog became a dumpster of cryptic, random thoughts and vague bullshit, but for the handful of people who read this (for some unfathomable reason), I feel I should apologize. The crap I’ve written over the past few months has been just that: crap. 

I don’t think that this kind of grammatical bukkake would be appreciated by anyone. And even if I’m being selfish and posting for my own benefit, it’s still an exercise in self-indulgent masturbation. read more

Aug 21


“Life is pain, highness” 

-The Dread Pirate Roberts

Everyone is the star of their own movie. That’s as it should be, because as far as anyone knows, you only get one go at life. The thing that I have a problem with, is when people pretend previous pages in their screenplay read differently, now that they’re further into it. 

I understand why this happens; if people could literally go back and re-read their own scripts, scene for scene, word for word, a lot of folks would cut their own movies short. Hell, it’s bad enough to accurately remember awkward moments without cringing; subjecting yourself to an accurate version of truly painful ones might as well be considered a form of violence. read more

Aug 11


So it seems Bukowski didn’t actually say that. Still, it’s a powerful sentiment. Here’s the full quote, by… whoever:

“Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain from you your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you, and let it devour your remains.

For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover.”

The point remains though; the things we love own us. That’s the trade-off in loving anything or anyone. read more