This one, in response to the ever popular “women drivers suck” status post on a friend’s wall.

Although it’s also been demonstrated that, due to thousands of years of males being predominately hunters, we’re better at spacial recognition, judgement of distance, and anticipating others’ course corrections; all skills which are essential to good driving.

Women, however, are superior at distinguishing colors and patterns, which were skills that allowed them to discern which fruits and berries were good and which were deadly. Apparently women are able to perceive more shades of red than men as well.

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Dear Gentleman Driving Gray Grand Prix,

Perhaps you could explain how you can get upset at me when you’re the one who blew through the stop sign and nearly t-boned my car? Do you realize that when both of our windows are up because it’s 20 degrees outside, yelling and waving your arms isn’t a very effective means of communication? This is why after a few seconds of you doing it, I responded by making a gesture representing the act of fellatio.

Additionally, it’s probably not a good idea to get out of your car and walk around chest-thumping like you’re going to do something when the other guy happens to be wearing wrestling shoes, a cup, and gloves because he just left the gym where he was deadlifting two of you.

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Is there anything more trite and self indulgent than ranting about traffic? Never let it be said that my blog caters to the literati.

I hate the drivers in Kansas City.

Let me clarify that a bit. I generally hate the drivers everywhere, for different reasons. But the drivers in Kansas City have earned their very own metacarpal.

Without getting too long-winded about it, Kansas City area drivers act like they’ve just happened to wander off the dirt roads of a farm and onto the big, scary city-folk paved ones.

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