• I'm convinced we're sliding towards a global monoculture. If we don't destroy ourselves in the next 1000 years, humanity will be boring. #

• Apparently Cuban pizza is a thing. Huh, who knew? Not bad either. #

• 600+ calories in a Hardees loaded omelette biscuit. Holy crap! I bought 2, but fortunately only ate one before I checked. #
• The blog is the modern version of the revolutionary's pamphlet. Not a new insight, but with grumblings of a "journalism license", important #
• Having an exchange on Linked In with the founder of the "Center for Aggression Management". Should be interesting. #FB #
• @luisespinal I'm trying to get down to 170. About 5 lbs to go, and it's all fat. Maybe if I ate that biscuit in 3 servings it'd be ok. in reply to luisespinal #
• The quote system on Fark sucks. Seriously, is it that hard to implement blockquote tags so as to make the content more readable? #
• Rough translation of Remi Gaillard's motto from the French: "By doing nothing, you become a nobody". Agreed. #

• Apparently the handle I've used for about 12 years now is popular with both the Trance and Rap scenes. Oh well, I own Phrost.com anyway. #FB #
• @luisespinal Maybe. I'll sell it for $1M if anyone on Twitter is listening. in reply to luisespinal #
• Man, I really hope that it isn't eventually discovered that Splenda causes cancer. Because if so, I'll definitely have full-body cancer. #

• Good: Sprint launched 4G (WiMax) here in KC. Bad: either the Sprint client, card, connection, or all of the above suck and it doesn't work. #
• Yeah, this is now genuinely pissing me off. Not only does the #Sprint "Smart View" client fail to connect, now my laptop won't shut down. #
• Al Gore kicks Tipper to the curb; karma for the PMRC. #
• Yeah, it's official. The Sprint 3G/4G service here sucks. The "SmartView" client crashes Vista, and the coverage is pathetic. Refund time #
• Dumped Sprint's 3G/4G service like a whiny girlfriend. Manager at the #Sprint store copped attitude about their buggy connection software #
• I think we're being attacked by the Japanese. The air raid sirens have been going off in Lenexa for about 20 minutes. #

• Who needs a microwave when the exhaust from your laptop can melt the cheese on a sandwich within a few minutes? #
• ♫ C is for Coffee, that's good enough for me ♫ #

Rock of the Marne

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t another boorish rant on political correctness. It’s just a rant at shitty rewrites.

The Dogface Soldier was a song written for the Third Infantry Division, of which I was a part for about a year before transferring to a better job involving a red beret and sitting on my ass in front of a computer. In PLDC (the course required for promotion to Sergeant) we had to memorize this song, and actually sing it.

But the lyrics always sounded… off. Here they are as we were instructed:

I Wouldn’t Give A Bean
To Be A Fancy Pants Marine
I’d Rather Be A
Dog Face Soldier Like I Am

I Wouldn’t Trade My Old OD’s
For All The Navy’s Dungarees
For I’m The Walking Pride
Of Uncle Sam

On Army Posters That I Read
It Says “Be All That You Can”
So They’re Tearing Me Down
To Build Me Over Again

I’m Just A Dog Face Soldier
With A Rifle On My Shoulder
And I Eat Raw Meat
For Breakfast E’V'RY Day

So Feed Me Ammunition
Keep Me In Third Division
Your Dog Face Soldier’s A-Okay

When sung, it sounds even cornier than it reads. And this bugged me, so I looked up the song and found that it had been changed, somewhat dramatically. Here’s the original version:

I Wouldn’t Give A Bean
To Be A Fancy Pants Marine,
I’d rather Be A Dogface Soldier Like I Am.

I Wouldn’t Trade My Old O.D.’s
For All The Navy’s Dungarees
For I’m The Walking Pride Of Uncle Sam;

On All The Posters That I Read
It Says The Army Builds Men
So They’re Tearing Me Down To Build Me Over Again

I’m Just A Dogface Soldier
With A Rifle On My Shoulder
And I Eat A Kraut For Breakfast Everyday.

So Feed Me Ammunition,
Keep Me In The Third Division
Your Dogfaced Soldier Boy’s Okay.

(Bolded emphasis, mine.)

Was that really so offensive that they had to change it? The song was written in World War II. It was the music with which the legendary Audie Murphy is associated. Would anyone really have gotten their panties in a bunch if they’d just kept it as it was; an homage to the battles that distinguished the 3rd ID as a fighting force?

Here’s the music to the song:

• Well that's disturbing. My new broadband card has a warning that it needs to be 5mm from me away to prevent overexposure to radiation. #
• @PVT_Craighead been trying that. T-mobile and their 0.3G network sucks. Loading Bullshido took forever when it didn't time out in reply to PVT_Craighead #
• Stupidity should be expensive: "The average household making less than $13K/yr spends $645/yr on lottery tickets" Source: http://ow.ly/1MCE5 #
• @dougrichards The multiplayer looks awesome. in reply to dougrichards #
• Rand Paul; 'nuff said. #
• Went to 24 Hour Fitness in Overland Park only to find it empty with dumpsters out front. Explains the crowd at the tiny one in Olathe. #
• Limbaugh: drugs are legal in Mexico, and look at all their drug-related crime. Way to miss the point by 1969 miles. #
• Calderon to W. Blitzer: "our police ask people they suspect of being in the country illegally, for papers". Como se dice "irony" en espanol #
• "Property is theft" as much as "sex is rape". I can't be the first person to say this, but I'm too lazy to check and see who else did. #
• I suspect that if Twitter had been around in Robert Heinlein's day, he'd have written thousands of tweets, but 0 novels. #
• Cojones: "Hey popular sports site owner: big sports event worth millions is coming up. Be a chum and promote it for us for free, will… #

I’m starting to think the Cufon effect on the blog is a bit much. Of course, it looks a lot better when the blog is populated with actual content, and not just a mashup of tweets.

Actually, I probably should de-bold the text of the tweets. Unfortunately, right now that’s priority #729, behind learning Arabic (#47) and re-unlocking the AK-47 on Modern Warfare (#681).

• For proponents of limited government, it always helps to have a country like China around to point to as justification. http://ow.ly/1J4LL #
• Well whose brilliant idea was that? If you type "b" (sans quotes) into Firefox and hit enter, /b/ loads, in all its glory. Using FF 3.6.3 #