Jul 21

I was going to write this up as a post here, but then I realized it was a bit too newsworthy to be relegated to this dark corner of the Internet and put it on Sociocide. Here’s a snippet of what I wrote though, with a link at the end:

Smuggling our crappy Panera lattes past the apathetic ticket-tearer-guy was a breeze. And I suppose that if it wasn’t for my senses being heightened from implementing this nefarious scheme to avoid even worse (and more overpriced) coffee, I wouldn’t have noticed the two gentlemen dressed in all black purposefully walking off towards one of the theaters just to the right of the straw dispensers and arcade games.

Oooh, SWAT was here, I thought, with hopes of seeing someone get tased or covered in bear mace or something.

No such luck, as one returned to his seemingly self-appointed post near Ticket Ripper Man, I noticed the back of his uniform/shirt. It didn’t read FBI, or SWAT, or S.H.I.E.L.D. It read MPAA.

Yeah, that’s right. MPAA, as in The Motion Picture Association of America. As an ex-coworker of mine would have put it, with a smile on her face to hide her unconscious, burning hatred of humanity*: “What the french, toast?”

The MPAA apparently has a “force” that’s uniformed up to look like an official Federal police agency, and they’d decended on little old Lee’s Summit, Misery, to fight the scurvy pirates who would record the latest Batman on handi-cam for the purposes of, well, making money off someone else’s Intellectual Property. At least that’s the story I got out of Mr. MPAA Cop Guy #2.

Read it all here.

Also, The Dark Knight wasn’t that good. That’s my review

Jun 28

And yet, it’s only 9 seconds long:

Apr 29

You know what always bugged me?

The end of The Princess Bride. Fezik (Andre the Giant) gets 4 horses, all the same sized, average horses. Then he proceeds to ride off into the sunset on one with everone else.

Not even in a damn fairy tale would a 530lb man be able to ride a horse.