When Did This Happen: Black Socks and Gym Shorts?


Did I miss a memo on this? Was there some conference held recently that I failed to attend where they held a session on how it was now cool to wear black socks and gym shorts?

I’ve seen this more and more over the past few months, especially at 24 Hour Fatness where I work out.

Why do I have a problem with this? Well damnit, on some level I aspired to be the crotchety old guy mowing his yard in black socks and shorts. How the hell am I supposed to differentiate myself from the young punks all concerned about chasing what’s fashionable if what’s fashionable beats down my door like a no-knock SWAT raid?

Granted, I’ve never actually gone out of the house wearing black socks and shorts; I’m still too young to have been so un-fashionable. But christ on a stick, I sure was looking forward to embarrassing my kid with contrived apathy for culturally acceptable foot decor.

I guess I’ll just have to settle for picking her up from school in a luchador mask, or prepping a video montage of her temper tantrums to show her future dates.

Yes, I do have the footage, I just need to select a song for the soundtrack.

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