This is my 9 year old daughter’s current favorite song:

I was going to write this up as a post here, but then I realized it was a bit too newsworthy to be relegated to this dark corner of the Internet and put it on Sociocide. Here’s a snippet of what I wrote though, with a link at the end:

Smuggling our crappy Panera lattes past the apathetic ticket-tearer-guy was a breeze. And I suppose that if it wasn’t for my senses being heightened from implementing this nefarious scheme to avoid even worse (and more overpriced) coffee, I wouldn’t have noticed the two gentlemen dressed in all black purposefully walking off towards one of the theaters just to the right of the straw dispensers and arcade games.

Oooh, SWAT was here, I thought, with hopes of seeing someone get tased or covered in bear mace or something.

No such luck, as one returned to his seemingly self-appointed post near Ticket Ripper Man, I noticed the back of his uniform/shirt. It didn’t read FBI, or SWAT, or S.H.I.E.L.D. It read MPAA.

Yeah, that’s right. MPAA, as in The Motion Picture Association of America. As an ex-coworker of mine would have put it, with a smile on her face to hide her unconscious, burning hatred of humanity*: “What the french, toast?”

The MPAA apparently has a “force” that’s uniformed up to look like an official Federal police agency, and they’d decended on little old Lee’s Summit, Misery, to fight the scurvy pirates who would record the latest Batman on handi-cam for the purposes of, well, making money off someone else’s Intellectual Property. At least that’s the story I got out of Mr. MPAA Cop Guy #2.

Read it all here.

Also, The Dark Knight wasn’t that good. That’s my review

I’ve probably coined hundreds of words over the years; most of which were of dubious utility. But some (ok, two) have become commonly used such as “bullshido” and “fucktard”, both coined sometime in the early-mid 90’s. I’m not sure if I should be overly proud of the latter, but I’ll take credit for it nonetheless.

Having forgotten many of these ‘neologisms’ or terms I figured I should use this blog as a repository for them going forward, as they pop into my head. This category will serve as part dictionary, part repository, part shameful reminder as I’ll probably regret having posted many of these as they’ll be of little use and only apply to Internet culture in many cases.

Douchebagwork

Douchebagwork describes the videos people post on Internet sites such as YouTube, etc, in which they demonstrate horrible striking “skills” (in quotes because it barely applies most of the time) on a heavybag, pads, focus mits, or more idiotic things such as trees and wooden posts.

I’d coined the term earlier but applied it to this video of former Bullshido forums poster “Omar” who was essentially laughed off the site after backing down from a challenge by kickboxer Kat Johnson:

The term can also be used as “douche bagwork” or “douchebag work” depending on the context.

Yarr…

300 mg of caffeine, a chest workout, and listening to the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack will do crazy things to a man.