• Who needs a microwave when the exhaust from your laptop can melt the cheese on a sandwich within a few minutes? #
• ♫ C is for Coffee, that's good enough for me ♫ #

Rock of the Marne

You know what really sticks in my craw? When political correctness demands that actual history be rewritten to accommodate those prone to outrage.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t another boorish rant on political correctness. It’s just a rant at shitty rewrites.

The Dogface Soldier was a song written for the Third Infantry Division, of which I was a part for about a year before transferring to a better job involving a red beret and sitting on my ass in front of a computer. In PLDC (the course required for promotion to Sergeant) we had to memorize this song, and actually sing it.

But the lyrics always sounded… off. Here they are as we were instructed:

I Wouldn’t Give A Bean
To Be A Fancy Pants Marine
I’d Rather Be A
Dog Face Soldier Like I Am

I Wouldn’t Trade My Old OD’s
For All The Navy’s Dungarees
For I’m The Walking Pride
Of Uncle Sam

On Army Posters That I Read
It Says “Be All That You Can”
So They’re Tearing Me Down
To Build Me Over Again

I’m Just A Dog Face Soldier
With A Rifle On My Shoulder
And I Eat Raw Meat
For Breakfast E’V’RY Day

So Feed Me Ammunition
Keep Me In Third Division
Your Dog Face Soldier’s A-Okay

When sung, it sounds even cornier than it reads. And this bugged me, so I looked up the song and found that it had been changed, somewhat dramatically. Here’s the original version:

I Wouldn’t Give A Bean
To Be A Fancy Pants Marine,
I’d rather Be A Dogface Soldier Like I Am.

I Wouldn’t Trade My Old O.D.’s
For All The Navy’s Dungarees
For I’m The Walking Pride Of Uncle Sam;

On All The Posters That I Read
It Says The Army Builds Men
So They’re Tearing Me Down To Build Me Over Again

I’m Just A Dogface Soldier
With A Rifle On My Shoulder
And I Eat A Kraut For Breakfast Everyday.

So Feed Me Ammunition,
Keep Me In The Third Division
Your Dogfaced Soldier Boy’s Okay.

(Bolded emphasis, mine.)

Was that really so offensive that they had to change it? The song was written in World War II. It was the music with which the legendary Audie Murphy is associated. Would anyone really have gotten their panties in a bunch if they’d just kept it as it was; an homage to the battles that distinguished the 3rd ID as a fighting force?

Here’s the music to the song:

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