Apr 23

I actually started writing this several weeks ago, and am only now wrapping it up; partially in order to ensure it doesn’t just sit here unfinished, partially because I haven’t posted anything in a while.

When making an argument for something that seems either novel or extreme, it always helps to use the words of people better than yourself. So I’m going to quote Robert Heinlein:

Those who cling to the untrue doctrine that violence never settles anything would be advised to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Nations and peoples who forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms.

That’s a great quote, and I’m using it because it’s on the top of my head, not that it’s specifically relevant to this post.

What I’d like to attack (yes, the word choice is intentional) here is the notion that the concept of violence is so completely abhorrent that it should be discussed in the same tones and with the same palpable unease as accompanies discussions of minority issues by well-meaning but guilt-ridden members of the majority ethnic group in this country.

The reason this notion is idiotic is simple: life itself is violent. Violence is not only a necessary part of life, but a fundamental part of it. The act of eating, including not only the sourcing of the foodstuffs that reach your plate, but the act itself, is predicated on violence. Just chewing your food is a violent act by the dictionary definition. The house you live in was created by violence. Trees were murdered and habitats destroyed so you could park your doughy ass in front of a TV without getting rained on. Virtually the only thing you can do to avoid participating in this chain of violence is to somehow will yourself into nonexistence. And even that act, were it possible, could be considered violent.

It’s not that violence should be considered good for its own sake. Frankly there is nothing that could be considered good for its own sake. Ideas, concepts, and philosophies, are good or bad because of the effects they produce, not on their own merits. In fact, without the effects caused by putting these ideas/concepts/philosophies into action, there is no merit in the first place; just the suggestion of merit, something equally ephemeral. (Tangentially, this is why Communism is not a “good thing”.) This kind of defective thinking forms the root for many problems I’ve noticed, but applies specifically to the concept of violence.

For example, when someone is shot with a firearm, there is always at least a flicker of the suggestion that firearms should be banned. Why? Because the firearm called seductively to the assailant to caress its trigger while the barrel was pointed at a potential victim? Obviously, no. People take actions that have effects. The causes of these actions are ideas (often half-baked, ill-reasoned, or downright maniacal), but ideas do not take the physical form of action without a person to carry them out. Neither should the actions, and the tools used to accomplish them, be put on the same chopping block of judgment. Tools, like ideas, exist without merit or judgment until human intention is applied to them.

It could and will be argued that simply by being available, certain tools designed to inflict violence (for good or ill) increase the likelihood of misuse. But this still doesn’t address the true problem which is the intent behind their misuse, and reflects a sense of moral laziness or lack of fortitude required to address the illness instead of its symptoms.

Violence is not always necessary. Ghandi’s march to the ocean for salt is an example of this. However, the weak-minded (or hearted) pacifist will take examples like this and use them to justify wholesale abdication of violence. And this is just as asinine as a mechanic who in a pinch, had to use a wrench in lieu of a hammer, deciding to forgo the use of hammers entirely.

Apr 12

Mar 17

A: “Hey, what’s going on?”
B: “Not much; it’s Monday”
A: “Great.”

Is it just me, or does everyone else have a mental pull-down menu of responses for nonversations like this?

I just realize I need to refresh this list a bit. People at my job are probably just as tired of my quasi-sincere “..it’s Monday” or “…it’s Friday” shtick as I am of uttering it.

As a society, and people who work in a busy corporate environment especially, we should simply adopt a “Nod and Grunt” policy which should save about 180 seconds out of every day. It’d be much more efficient to nod and/or grunt at someone to acknowledge their presence than to mumble inane crap.

Mar 11

Boredom and the desert make for great pranks.

We were at NTC (The U.S. Army National Training Center out in the California desert) doing the tear-down of equipment and stuff to ship back to our unit so we could get the hell out of there. As an E-4 due to be promoted in the next few months to Sergeant, I got stuck running this detail.

For those of you who’ve never had one, the MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) we were stuck subsisting on, came with a nifty little chemical “heater” in the hopes that adding heat to the main entres would help offset the fact that most of them tasted like mashed feet.

You just slide the food pouch into the sleeve, dump some water into it, and then lean it up against a “rock or something” to heat. Literally, there was a diagram on the package of the package leaned up against a “ROCK OR SOMETHING”. Obviously both the manufacturer and the Army didn’t give us much credit for brains. That’s probably why they didn’t consider that we’d figure out that the chemical reaction released a lot of gas.

One of the good things about this detail was that we could cut out and go raid a mini PX (convenience store). After wrapping up 3+ weeks in the desert we were gorging on ice cream bars and gatorade, and weren’t really paying attention to the crappy MREs we’d been forced to eat until someone noticed that the ventilation hole in the Port-a-John outdoor toilet was the exact width of a 32 oz bottle of Gatorade.

It’s at this point of the story where I wish there was some complete jerk involved, or even some clueless, hapless private deserving of his fate by some twisted, junior-junior-NCO sense of logic. But there wasn’t. There was just PFC Seifer. Or was it Seeder? Crap, I don’t remember his name, but it’s not important. Blonde guy, about 20. Nice kid.

But he was about to be a casualty of bored soldiers in the desert.

I’m not much of a story teller so there’s no glorious climax to this tale. We ripped apart 5 MRE heaters and crushed up their contents using improvised mortar and pestle drawing upon our caveman roots or the native spirits of the land or some other bullshit. Then we dumped it into an empty, sun-dried Gatorade bottle, added water, screwed the cap back on, and shook it up. Standing on the back of another soldier I dropped the improvised gas grenade down the ventilation shaft and into the portable toilet, which was occupied by PFC S-whatever.

I say I’m not much of a story teller because by now you’re probably expecting this guy to run screaming out of the toilet with his pants around his ankles and a severe chemical burn on his ass. But naa, no such greatness was achieved this day. The Gatogrenade did make a loud report, like the sound of a shotgun blast or a car backfiring, muffled by the enclosed green plastic walls of the mobile outhouse. And there was a yell from its occupant, but it wasn’t one of pain; just surprise and anger.

And I wish we’d had the foresight to remove all but the barest essential amount of toilet paper. Because fortunately for PFC S. there were two full rolls in there that he could use to clean himself up after the explosion splattered the basin’s contents back onto the parts of him that were exposed at the time. Apparently it did take the two full rolls to accomplish this, and he still smelled like shit and whatever chemical additive they put in there in a futile effort to cover it up.

Good times.

Mar 10

From LegoRobotComics

Mar 3

guillotine choke slam

Feb 23

These guys are pretty cool. Napster doesn’t have anything on them and I haven’t checked iTunes though. Guess I could always download the MP3 straight off YouTube.

Feb 23

Friday 4:30 sucks. But with a few extra whiteboards it sucks less.

I was originally going to just swipe one of the whiteboards sitting unused from a recent cube restructuring at the office. My cube neighbor (cubebor?) Michael noticed that it was just long enough to reach across the width of the cube and would work as a roof. So we hoisted both of them on there and used a corkboard as the door.

This is what happens when your boss leaves early on Friday.

Feb 10

I went here to catch some video and see what was what. I have to admit that I wasn’t expecting to see that many people show up. Someone said there were upwards of 70.

A few notable things:

  • Guy with a beard and long hair in only a button up shirt and tie, yelling “Scientology Eats Babies” and “Scientology Gave Me Hemorrhoids”.
  • Xenuanon
  • Someone holding a poster that read “Scientology Says Jesus was a Pedophile”
  • People shouting “Ebaumsworld.com”
  • The cops bringing 2 squad cars and the paddywagon until ultimately realizing nobody was actually going to blow up the CoS building or anything
  • A massive hawk that flew up and perched above the CoS building, seemingly taking in the spectacle.
  • Huge numbers of people honking at the signs (“Honk if you think Scientology is a cult”, etc).
  • Very out-of-place couple that looked like they just walked off of the set of Melrose Place 2008 or something, asking questions. Maybe they were with the CoS?

I wasn’t around to see this, but one anon on the KC raid thread on Enturbulation.org noted:

There was a grand exit at 1:30 when everyone counted down from 10 to 0, then everyone just went in every direction, was def lulz. We had 1 guy following our group as we left, but he noticed us taking pictures of him and dropped off tailing us. All in all, a good day.

Jan 25

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